Witnessing the good and bad of ECE as a first time mum
A first time mother reflects on her initial experiences of having a child in ECE.
As I entered the children’s toilet area to change my son’s nappy before taking him home, I quickly figured out why our family had been getting tummy bugs so often.
It was filthy. Toys littered the floor of the cubicles, not a single toilet had been flushed properly, it stunk.
Standing in that disgusting room I felt physically ill and in shock. I had already decided my toddler was never coming back to this ECE centre after I’d signed him out today — and what I saw and smelled around me confirmed that decision.
My son had started attending this daycare part time at 13 months old. At first I was happy with the care he received. His key teacher in the infant room was nurturing and engaged with him.
However, since he’d moved to the toddler room two weeks earlier, after turning 2, I’d noticed a significant shift in his behaviour at drop offs.
While he used to occasionally grizzle when I passed him to his kaiako for a cuddle, he would now thrash about when they tried to pick him up and then run after me hysterically screaming “no mummy, no!”
There were around 30 tamariki and four teachers in his new classroom. (In the infant room there were between nine and 12 kids and three teachers.)
Every morning I would feel overwhelmed by the noise level – music was always blasting, kids were crying as we walked in. I felt bad leaving my son in such a chaotic environment, but I had to go to work.
The final straw was when, minutes before I entered that squalid toilet area, I witnessed the team leader leave another child unattended while eating.
I was in the process of signing out my son when she, the only other adult who was inside, walked away to speak to another teacher in the adjoining room. She shut the door behind her and was gone for several minutes. Worried that the other little boy might choke while unsupervised, I waited until she returned and kept an eye on him.
That night I contacted the centre to let them know that I was withdrawing my son’s enrollment, effective immediately. I didn’t go into detail as to why (in hindsight I wish I’d formally complained and reported the centre to the Ministry of Education, but at the time a member of our whānau was in the midst of a health crisis and I didn’t want to deal with the added stress of a potential dispute).
As I lay awake replaying the events in my head, I strongly considered resigning from my job and keeping my son at home with me full time. But we needed my income to pay our living costs.
The next day I frantically called around several ECE providers trying to find my son alternative care.
One of the local homebased educators I spoke to said she had a space available on the days that I needed to work.
I was still guarded and nervous when my son and I arrived at her house the following day for our first meeting. However, her warm manner and the obviously strong bond she had with the tamariki in her care put me at ease.
Her home (including the loo) was also spotless and the children’s dedicated playroom was well organised and equipped with a huge variety of high quality toys and books.
When I asked her to tell me a little about herself and her work, she spoke enthusiastically about how she had a grownup son of her own, had an ECE teaching degree, more than a decade of experience in the sector and took the children to the local Playcentre every morning.
My son seemed really comfortable there straight away, contentedly setting up a wooden trainset as the educator and I chatted.
After a few more visits, which all went smoothly, I enrolled him in the service.
Over the next year, his educator became a key part of our village, almost like a family member.
On our days off together my son would often ask if he was going to his educator’s house that day and when I’d say no he would respond with “awww, I miss her!”
My son thrived in his educator’s care. Drop offs became a breeze and I always got photo and video updates throughout the day of all the fun they’d been having.
This experience restored my faith in ECE. I now knew first-hand what a positive impact high quality care and education could have on a growing child.
